Twilight Television and RSW Commissioner Riddick, present. "The History Of Mass" Warning, language and lewd acts depicted in this promo!!
The scene fades in on a RSW House Show, Riddick has just defeated Hiero Takeuie and he is standing in the middle of the ring following the match with a microphone in hand. He looks tired, but devilish as he begins to speak.
Riddick: Whew, damn, what a workout. You Japs certainly train some f*cked up second rate atheletes, let me tell you!!
The crowd boos Riddick at his reference to Hiero Takeuie.
Riddick: Anyhow, I'm not out here to diss on Japanese atheletes, although in the Olympics they are seen usually sitting on the sideline spitshining the Americans shoes!! No, I"m not out here for that. I'm out here because I have a little presentation to give. It is called "The History Of Mass" Now, if you will, pay attention to the Sunny Tron!!
The History Of Mass
Riddick: We start off in our heros younger days, here you see him trying to drown himself in a bowl of Corn Flakes, as you'll see here, Mommy isn't too happy about that.
Mass Suicide-9 Years Old
The screen fades in on Mass Suicide, well, a much younger version of him, and obviously played by a midget, he is face down in a bowl squirming and trying to drown himself!! His mother walks into the room and starts yelling at him!!
Mommy: STEVEN!! STEVEN, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THAT BOWL RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN!! IT'S TIME TO SERVICE MOMMY. STEVEN!!!
Little Mass: Mommy, do I have to again? You know all the kids pick on me and say that you rape me as it is!! They wonder where the wet spots on my shorts come from, come on, can't we do something else?
Mommy: Now Steven, you know that you're a special, special boy!! You have a knack at doing things that no other man, woman, or child can do. Like turning this cold fish right here into a steamy, sensual, SEXPOT!!
Little Mass: Ick, I'm leaving!!
Mommy: NO YOU'RE NOT!!! MOMMY HASN'T HAD HER WAY WITH YOU.....STEVEN, STEVEN!!!!!
Riddick: As you can see, Mass's mother wasn't going to be up for any Mother Of The Year awards, this continued, all the way into Mass Suicides teen years. Even though she could no longer have her way with the depressed, psychopathic, f*ckbob, she still did have her way of getting herself involved by inviting Mass's dates over for family night!! Ninety nine times out of a hundred, Mass's dates would run from the house screaming in terror and disgust, never to return!!
Mass Suicide-16 Years Old
Mommy: Steven, Steven, your date is here!!! I see you're all ready and raring to go with Family Night!!
Mass is in the bathroom right now slicing his arms up with razor blades!!!
Mommy: Remember Steven, you don't want to kill yourself just yet!! If you ever really want to try though, to impress your girls, just slice open your arms vertically instead of horizontally!! Ok?
Mass: Mom, why the f*ck do you always have to have Family Night on the nights I decide to have dates. Don't you think that's why they run away? Because they see this!! I mean I haven't even gotten lucky yet and I"m almost 17!!!!
Mommy: Don't worry Steven, it's not because of Family Night!! It's because of your sub-par looks, don't worry you get that from your father. The only reason why I slept with him is because I was on LSD at the time and he looked like Charlie Bronson!! Sorry it had to come out this way!!
Mass's Date: Hi there Steven.....AHHHHHHHHHH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Mass: Nothing, this is Family Night, here have a razor blade and slice into yourself, you'll get bloody satisfaction!!!
Mass's Date: No wonder you have all those scars!! F*ck you, psycho!!
Mass's date for that night runs off from the house, screaming bloody murder, never to return to Steves life!!
Riddick: So time rolls on, Mass's women come and go just as quickly, Mass remains a virgin deep into his early twenties!! That's when he finds professional wrestling, on accident!!
Mass Suicide-Early 20's
The scene fades in on Mass huddling in the corner of some alleyway somewhere. Mom is dead and gone, Mass is even more depressed, he has the only thing that could console him in such a hard time. A box of Kleenex!! He huddles with it, crying and holding a nine MM handgun to his head.
Mass: If only you loved me more mommy, instead of trying to teach me how to off myself, if only you hugged me and played with me like all the normal kids instead of trying to molest me, if only you didn't drive all my dates away so someone else could love me. Maybe life could've been just a little bit better!! Oh mommy!! Mommy, WHY MOMMY, WHY HAVE YOU....
That's when Mass catches a commercial for a wresting school called Shootcamp out of the corner of his eye on a TV in someones apartment!! The rest is history from there.
Riddick: Thus Mass Suicide was born, from the depths of his own f*cking nitemare!! He would tell you differently about his history I am sure of it. How he was raised differently, how his depression came about, sure, he'd make himself sound more of a hero I am sure of it. However all Mass is, is what I just shown all of you. A f*cking after-school special on LIFETIME that should've been cancelled a long f*cking time ago!! I wish you would hang yourself, or blow the f*cking top off of your fat little dome of yours!!
Riddick takes a deep breath.
Riddick: I wish you would just do it and get it over with, however with all that Mommy taught you about killing yourself, and you STILL haven't done it, it just shows me how [bleep]ing inept you are at everything, including protecting your loved one. Mia loved to scream Mass, she loved the pain and torture that I inflicted on her, and even though you ran me off of a road last week. I am still here, standing and breathing, which means, I would do it again!!! As far as your death is concerned Mass, do not worry, there will come a time and a chance when I will do it for you. When I will take your body, rape it of its life, and stuff your corpse to be hung on my wall as a f*cking trophy, as a f*cking conquest. You have only one way out of this Mass, only one.
Riddick breathes again.
Riddick: That one way is to give up Elizabeth as your tag team partner. That's all, it's just that simple, why must you hang on to people, just because you were not loved enough as a child, is that our problem? Must you hang on to Elizabeth and drag her down into your habitual need to slice yourself and taste your own HIV infected blood!! Consider yourself warned Mass, warned of your lack of a future if last week, ever happens again!! If you ever, hurt Elizabeth or myself like that again!
Riddick slams down the microphone and leaves the ring walking slowly, as last weeks car accident still lingers on him.
TO BE CONTINUED IN MASS'S PROMO? TUNE IN AND FIND OUT!!
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